Mark Hildreth’s Official Site

complex state of attachment

I have had the most amazing realization!

It occurred to me yesterday, through the help of an amazing friend of mine, that I am separate from my thoughts and emotions. That my being, my essence - the real “me” in me is not what I feel or what I think. That I am a being, and I inhabit my body, and I generate all of my feelings and all of my thoughts. And that when I feel something bad, it is not me being bad, but a feeling I am creating. And that when I have a bad thought, it is not me somehow “becoming” bad, but me creating a bad thought.

It is probably the most freeing and revealing awareness I have ever experienced. I feel like a kid!!

I don’t know about you, but I have had a confusion my whole life that, because I think a bad thing or feel a suppressive feeling, that means that I am bad - that my being is “bad.” I have just discovered the reality that I am not my thoughts or my feelings. Isn’t that a trip!!

I hope you are well and full of love!

Mark.

I just want to talk a little about how I’m feeling. I’ve just realized that I feel a LOT. And I have a really strong tendency to ignore how I feel. I have stuff that triggers emotions in me ALL THE TIME! Like, practically everything I see, hear, touch smell, everything that I percieve I have some kind of feeling about.

But I am now aware that, most of the time, i just try to “do something about it” instead of really feelings it, and looking at it, and thereby being able to realize where I am really at. It’s like I’m just skimming through the whole emotional experience of being human, because I’m afraid of what I might find out about myself. Which is a big lie, because I don’t really even know what I’m going to find!

Food for thought.

With love,

Mark.

I am realizing more and more how important it is to be a thoughtful person, no matter how much it might seem uncomfortable or unusual to do so. There are a lot of people in our society (and I include myself in this group) who want to believe that what they think and feel is right, but don’t really take the time or put in the effort to stop and think about why they feel how and what they feel. In my experience, I feel what I feel, and then if I am challenged (or I challenge myself, an even more important thing to do) I want to defend my point of view, because it is mine!

But here’s the thing: what would happen if I admited to myself that I may be wrong? Or what if I just suspend my own feelings and consider truly and objectively the possiblities of another point of view, as if it were my own? Or even better, what if I begin to learn that there IS NO right and wrong, only good and bad, only choices.

The thing is (and I think this is self evident): all people are created equal. It follows, then, that no one person can be any more right or wrong than ony other, it’s just that each person has their own unique experience of life, and makes up their own ideas, their own postulates, their own beliefs and opinions and feelings, based on reality as they have taken it in during their lifetime.

Therefore, we will mine much more gold looking at ourselves, and asking ourselves the questions we have the impulse to ask others for (because we may just want an answer, and are not willing to actually work an answer of our own out for ourselves) than looking to the outside world for guidance.

Projectively speaking, this is all my own issue. But if you can see it this way, you might see that what I’m talking about is just as true, just as relevant for me as it is for every person in this country, on this continent, and sharing this world.

Now, now that your feelings are stirred: STOP. Think about why you feel what you feel at this moment.

Now, act.

(drum roll please…………)